Banky W And Adesua Etomi Testify To Their Struggles With Giving Birth, Including Losing Their Twins, Undergoing IVF Treatments, And Miraculously Giving Birth To Their Baby Boy.
Banky W and his actress wife, Adesua Etomi, have shared their inspiring story of losing a set of twins, going through failed IVF procedures, and waiting for a child until they were blessed with their baby boy, Zaiah, in January 2021.
On Sunday, April 4, the new parents gave their testimony in church.
While telling their triumphant tale, Adesua mentioned that they married in 2017 and wanted to have their children as soon as possible. That, however, did not occur because the babies were not forthcoming.
“We got married in 2017 after Banky had disturbed my life and I was like okay, let’s marry.
We had planned our lives out and we were like this is what is going to happen, we would be so busy so we might as well get the children out of the way. Let’s do it now and just let it come through. And then nothing happened.
And then we tried and nothing happened. And I remember having a conversation with Banky and I was like, lets go do IVF. Banky was like calm down, it hasn’t even been a year. Give it a year.
A year came. When it was 11 months and a couple of days, I was like hey, how far? It’s been a year. Let’s go try IVF. And we prayed about it. We did pray and by the grace of God we got pregnant with twins.”
It was a monthly loop of disappointment for Adesua in the first year of their marriage, as she expected to skip her period and become pregnant. She also revealed that she had been subjected to a lot of online trolling, with people constantly urging her to get pregnant.
“It was like a monthly disappointment and anyone would tell you that when you want a child, even one month or two months seem like such a long time talkless of people that have waited for years and years. So, it was constant disappointment and trying to stay in the place of faith and knowing that you serve a God that doesn’t lie and knowing that you serve a God that can do it but for some reason, he is just really kind of slow in your opinion.
We got pregnant with our son after two and a half years and I can tell you that every single day of those two and a half years, someone trolled me…..everyday. I couldn’t have an opinion without someone say ‘go and born’. I couldn’t say anything without someone say ‘get out… go and have a child, you are barren, you did something with your womb. I heard all sought.”
While honouring women who have undergone IVF, Adesua revealed that she has veins in her hands that no longer function because they have been so traumatized that they can no longer bring out blood.
“So we got pregnant with twins and we had gone for the scan and we had seen the heartbeats. During a routine checkup, we went back to the hospital to have a scan and I just saw the doctor’s face.
You know when something is wrong, sometimes you can tell. She was scanning and I was like what is wrong and she was like oh no nothing. And I looked at the nurse’s face and she looked a bit funny two and I was like what’s wrong? She was like Adesua, I am looking for the heartbeat. And I said for two of them? And she said yes.
I started laughing because it didn’t make any sense to me. And so I went home and I remember being in our living room, I literally collapsed on the floor and I wailed. Wailing is not the same thing as crying. Wailing is a deep groaning in your chest.”
After the scan, Adesua and Banky agreed to pray to God over the weekend, claiming that nothing is impossible with him. They returned to the hospital, confident that God would intervene.
Speaking to the point when he teared up, Banky said:
“We went back to the hospital for the scan and not only did we not see heartbeats, the embryos were shrinking. They were decaying and they were dying. This was towards the end of the first trimester. It was a tough time.
When we found out we were losing them and we had to do an evacuation, it was a very emotional time and she cried.
Let me tell you, women are stronger than men. Crying is not a sign of weakness, but as a man you know you have been raised to be like you are the man, you have to be strong, you can’t shed a tear.
So she is feeling a certain way and I am trying to be there for her and I am just there holding her and saying it is going to be okay.
But the day that we cried together was the day of the evacuation and evacuation is when they remove the dead embryos. We went to the hospital, we did the procedure and Adesua is one of the strongest people that I know but I had never seen her so frail and in so much pain, emotional and physical. For somebody like me whose love language is acts of service, it’s helping and fixing the problem, there was absolutely nothing I could do at that time.
We came home from the hospital and I remember I led her up the stairs and we got on the couch and I held her in my arms and we cried. I will say it again. It is okay to cry.”
According to Adesua, their second IVF attempt failed because no embryo was produced. She said her doctors told her she had Polycystic Ovary Syndrome at the time, while Banky W’s sperm morphology was off.
When participating in the Nathaniel Bassey Halleluyah challenge, Banky and Adesua claimed to have gotten pregnant miraculously.
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